China 2...not very creative, I know...

WE HAVE THEM!

 

It’s hard to believe it’s been just about a year since we began our adoption journey.  Some days it seems like yesterday…others, it feels like eons….kind of like marriage. I’ve heard other people say that, of course…I wouldn’t know…we savor each and every moment of our almost 17-50 years…whatever it’s been.

 

Regardless, after a midnight arrival Sunday night (left our house at 4:30 on Friday), we found ourselves at the Civil Affairs Office at 10:00 am Monday for our “Gotcha Day.”  So many emotions…so little time…or words…or even meaning.  I’m not sure what I expected exactly, but it was something in line with bursting through the doors…our children eagerly awaiting our arrival would leap from the arms of their caregivers...would run into our outstretched arms…screaming “Mommy! Daddy! We’ve been waiting for you!!!” (in English, of course…because they’d been studying)…we’d scoop them up and ride off into the proverbial sunset.  Yea…pretty much what I’d envisioned.  I was just a bit off.  We did see some scooping up…but it wasn’t by us…and absolutely none of my other dreams came true. I blame Hollywood.

 

We sat there and watched two other families with their new children…for roughly an hour. I began to think this had all been a bad dream…until they finally walked through the door. I still thought, on some level, that the idea I had would still come true…minus them waiting for us.  After all, we’d spent time with them via skype, they were excited about us coming, they even kept asking their caregivers, “When will they be here?!?” I absolutely was not prepared to hear screaming and wailing when they handed them to us. Unfortunately, that’s what happened. No video-worthy moments we were hoping for…just heartache…on every side.  I could tell the workers were saying things like, “This is your mommy…go to your mommy…don’t cry for mommy…” Made it worse. Much worse.

 

The kids finally allowed us to hold them…still screaming…and we tried to distract them with our winning personalities. HAHA…even I just laughed out loud.  But I’m not kidding.  We pulled out our patience of Job, love of Mary, and compassion of Mother Teresa…no joke. Our own bio kids have never seen, nor would they recognize, these parents. HA…again, laughing here.  We distracted them as best we could while the government, orphanage, and our guide worked through the paperwork. 

 

Then another bomb was dropped.  They told us that Zoe had just been released from the hospital…she’d been in there for 3 days…and it was very serious…she should not travel. She would not be well enough to fly home. My stomach was in knots.  Why in the world would G*d allow us to get this far and not bring her home. It all seemed like a nightmare. We kept saying we’re taking her…they kept saying no.  They asked if we’d known about her condition before we came and seemed surprised to hear that we knew about it from the beginning and still came for her. They just kept saying it was too big of a risk for her to travel…we kept saying it’s an even bigger risk to leave her here with no possible hope of recovery. In the midst of all this back and forth conversation, we were told she’d been admitted because she wasn’t eating and was vomiting every time she put anything in her mouth…then we were told she had been admitted because she’d had a heart attack. It’s been back and forth on that ever since. Honestly, we’re grateful for the heart attack news…even if it’s possibly inaccurate…because that has caused the adoption agency to kick into high gear to rush our already-expedited case. The workers weren't sure we’d handle her medicine correctly and continued to say how vital it was. (We’ve actually adapted it to some degree so I guess they were right, but we decided rest was more beneficial than waking her up at 11:30 pm to give another dose.)

 

We were finally allowed to take them with us and thankfully, by that time, they’d warmed up to us, to some degree. Our ideas of munching on noodles and swinging at the playground all day was also trashed…we made a trip to several markets for food, toys, and strollers (yes, you heard me), talked to a pharmacist about portable oxygen possibilities, and grabbed lunch at a local noodle joint…Henan is famous for their noodles…who knew? We then added on a photo opp for the passports. The key in understanding our day is to throw in weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth to every situation…then you’ve pretty much nailed it.  Zoe wanted nothing to do with change…so anytime she had to swap parents, or any adult, she would go nuts. Contrary to our normal parenting philosophies, we’ve had to give her whatever she wants in order to keep her calm, in regard to her heart.  Zane is a wild man…W.I.L.D. He does not appreciate being told no nor denied his independence in any way.  That may sound like any toddler, but this would definitely be a first for us to this extreme.  Add in there the fact that they both gabber constantly in Chinese…which we obviously don’t understand…so they were very frustrated and upset with us.  (We didn’t think they had much of a vocabulary at this point…wrong again.)

 

We did have some funny moments…or I did at least! J Chris was pretty much assigned to Little Man duty as Zoe insisted on Mommy time.  When we were walking through the grocery store, Zane was knocking things off the shelf with his outstretched arm as Chris, holding him, walked by…cracking up at his own awesomeness.  When Daddy would put him down to try to pick things up, he would take off at break-neck speeds that would impress the best Olympian.  Our guide said on more than one occasion that the orphanage said he was “very naughty”…she just kept saying, “He’s crazy!” J Suffice it to say, watching Daddy with Zane brought the rest of us more than a few giggles.  I also had a “moment.” While we were grabbing some fruit, I kept saying “thank you” in Chinese to the workers bagging our goodies.  I thought it a bit odd the looks I was getting until I asked our guide.  Apparently the Chinese people don’t appreciate strangers asking for a kiss in the produce section. Yea. Take heed.  Regardless, with the situation with Zoe, the laughs were a welcome break…so we were grateful.

 

We spent the evening in our hotel room with the kids playing with their toys and resting. Zoe actually fell asleep on me…which was a sweet relief from the day.  We had a surprise visitor that knew the children well.  The kids were excited to see him, and we were thrilled to hear English, as well as feel encouraged by this one living in the trenches, fighting the good fight daily. He thanked us for giving Zoe  “a chance”…powerful words.

 

Being too exhausted to do much else, we had a feast of bananas and bread. Yes, Mommy had peanut butter on my banana.  No, she did not share. Some things are just going too far…further than China, apparently.

 

We ended the day with the realization that the life of the party, Zane, does not…under any circumstance…enjoy bath time.  Zoe, however, seemed completely fine. I vowed that she’ll have baths nightly…his will be optional.  The times…they are a’changin’.