China 4

A pleasant surprise

I’ve already shared some of our most notable moments via the previous post on things I’ve learned…check it out if you missed that one.  For now, I wanted to share some incredible moments we shared with some friends Tuesday evening.  As I previously mentioned, Tuesday morning consisted of more necessities shopping, more governmental errands until we were blue in the face, ate more noodles and dumplings, dealt with more meltdowns, and handed out more cash than Bill Gates. If you missed your place in line, come back in the next life once it’s been replenished. Oh wait…well, never mind…yea, just come back then…J

We were thrilled to hear that our long distance friend…via FB and the Kolanowski’s…was in town with her special friend J and was willing and able to take us to visit our kids’ home. We took a couple taxis over to a different side of town and stepped out into what looked like a residential area.  We found out later that the home rents an apartment in a normal apartment building and operates the foster home from there…usually 8-10 kids in an apartment with several workers.  (They want to show the nationals that it can be done…in any setting.)  I wished I had taken pictures to show the full magnitude of what we took in…mostly because it was so different than I’d expected…and our bio kids would really have wanted to see it.  My brain was just fried…and my heart was sinking…as I was told that Zoe and Zane both said, “We’re home!” as we stepped out of the cabs. I hesitated even taking them in…even after our friend went out of her way to take us…because I feared they wouldn’t want to leave with us afterward…pretty valid response given the 2 days we’d had thus far.

The kids were all excited to have us there…ours and theirs…and the workers seemed happy to see us too!  We interrupted dinner, but everyone seemed not to mind. All the children were sitting around one small table, eating their food and our kids just ran around chattering non-stop. They were excited to show us their beds and introduce us to all their friends. One of the things I’m most grateful for in our visit was seeing a different side to our wild man.  He wasn’t the same person we’d been wrestling with and chasing after the past 2 days. He was the leader!! Large and in charge.  What we thought was jabbering was actually complete sentences that he communicated quite well…if you speak Chinese…bam.  He was passing out cards to all the kids before taking one himself…just Pokemon, or whatever…and we thought he was being unkind to one of the kids because he refused to give him one.  Our friend translated for Zane, “No…that boy cannot have a card. He would eat the paper so he cannot have one!” Huh. Then he got out our snack container and showed the kids and said, “Look what I have!” J (wow.) But then he started giving each child some, one at a time.  When a boy started to take some, he raised his voice and pulled the container away. Again, we were about to jump on him before we were told he said, “Don’t reach in and grab it…I will give you some!” We even saw him tell one of the boys to ask for more using the sign language sign I’d taught him. I was astounded. He’s also insanely smart…part of him ripping things apart and pushing every boundary is him seeing what makes everything tick…including us. I realized in that visit that a good portion of his insane behavior was a “freaked out” reaction to not being in charge of his little world anymore…and not able to communicate clearly with the people who took over. Long road ahead with Mr. Man but thankful he’s not a felon in the making…at least not yet.

Zoe seemed happy to see her friends too but being the only girl, still seemed a bit detached.  I asked if the boys treated her differently than each other. “Oh my yes,” was the answer.  She was the princess. It got to the point that she would just say, “I want a drink”…and multiple boys would go running. Super.  When she snuggled up to Mommy as she grew tired of walking around, several of the workers said they’d never seen her so happy and content. Big…huge…moment for this weary momma.

I held my breath as we stood and told the kids it was time to go.  To my relief, they jumped up and said goodbye…just like that. Sigh.

I should make mention of a little buddy we met.  I’ve mentioned before on the blog some little dude kept sticking his face into the camera when we’d skype with the kids.  Remember me saying I felt as though he were someone’s child that was following our adoption journey? Well, we found out he was born with a small case of spina-something. (no medical degree here.) He had the surgery and now seems to be fine! He’s ready for your home!!! You know who you are!!! J Just follow His leading…that’s the biggest blessing of all…because He never fails.