The Gift That Keeps on Giving
We had a special treat this week.
In the midst of our normal chaos...normal is such a relative term...actually there's nothing normal about any of my relatives. Everybody has their "thing"...we pride ourselves on the fact that there's not a normal one in the bunch! Ok...now where was I...oh yes...a treat!
I've mentioned quite a few times in earlier posts about our sweet angel in China who cared for our kiddos for a good while last year, has provided us with valuable information on their situation, and even was able to give us the personal tour of their little home while we were in country. Love our "Bekah Jie Jie"...and this week we were able to have a long conversation via FB and a wonderful Skype conversation the following day...oh, it did my heart good...and the kiddos too!
We've been experiencing quite a few up's and down's with both kids...but specifically Zane, in regard to sleeping. It came as quite a shock to see how terrified he was about going to sleep. In China, he didn't always like it, but he never seemed scared at all. We now realize it was because we were in the room with him. Oh boy. He also has become much whinier and discontent. Although we can emphasize with these issues, we are also very cognizant of not enhancing these fears but rather patiently teaching him the skill of falling asleep on his own with a confidence that we will be there when he wakes up...mouthful...even harder to do than to say! You can imagine the difficulty in navigating the muddy waters of toddler-world, adoptive child bonding, unknown and seemingly irrational fears, stress over lost independence and control over activities, and sorrow over lost friends and "family" left behind.
Zoe's muddy waters look a little like this: similar sorrow over friends left behind, adoptive family bonding, extreme weakness and irritability stemming from her extreme heart condition and the effect it's had on the rest of her body, princess mentality when it comes to interaction with Zane and her parents :), and lack of trust with new family members due to the constant influx of caregivers in China...she knows who we are but is basically expecting us to leave.
We needed some help. SO...we reached out to our angel again. What an answer to prayer.
We found out we were indeed on track with Zoe...she prefers to be called Queen Zoe...great...we've got another one...including yours truly...takes one to know one. The biggest help with Zoe, however, has been the docs explaining how significantly her health is influencing her behavior. Therefore, we spent most of our time talking about the little man.
It was comforting, on some level, to know that he wasn't just acting this way because of us...it's always been a struggle for him. He does have a lot of fears when it comes to bedtime...in spite of his adventurous spirit the other 12 hours of the day...just like any normal toddler. Poor little man...we thought he was just "pitching a fit." We were surprised to hear that a caregiver always slept in the room with the children...not that it was a bad thing...just a surprise...no wonder he always wanted us to stay. She said he would beg the worker not to leave him even though they never left. Basically everything we were doing to give him comfort were the very things he feared. Send in the nomination. GQ Parents want to learn from the best. Mark it down...you knew me when...
The next night we had a sweet time skyping with Bekah Jie Jie! The kids weren't sure what to do at first with seeing their old friend and hearing Chinese again! It was so cute...the silence lasted all of 3.2 seconds...then the jabbering began. Loved seeing them rattle on and on about everything that's been happening at their new home. Zane told her all about his doctor visit and how he was brave, but Zoe cried...not true...brother bullying has already begun. He told about our dog and how he likes him but is still a little scared of him. They compared pandas with Bekah. He likes his new house and room. He said he got an "owie" on the trampoline, and he loves his mommy, daddy, brothers, and sisters. That's about it...but it's a good start.
I'm SO grateful I reached out to Rebekah on behalf on our kiddos...so grateful for FB and Skype providing real-time overseas communication...so utterly thankful for a forgiving and compassionate Father who fills in the gaps over and over again with His forgetful and self-absorbed daughter.
And if I'm being completely transparent...and at this point, why not...I'm immensely thankful that door swings open every day at 3:42:24 with reinforcements. :)
In the midst of our normal chaos...normal is such a relative term...actually there's nothing normal about any of my relatives. Everybody has their "thing"...we pride ourselves on the fact that there's not a normal one in the bunch! Ok...now where was I...oh yes...a treat!
I've mentioned quite a few times in earlier posts about our sweet angel in China who cared for our kiddos for a good while last year, has provided us with valuable information on their situation, and even was able to give us the personal tour of their little home while we were in country. Love our "Bekah Jie Jie"...and this week we were able to have a long conversation via FB and a wonderful Skype conversation the following day...oh, it did my heart good...and the kiddos too!
We've been experiencing quite a few up's and down's with both kids...but specifically Zane, in regard to sleeping. It came as quite a shock to see how terrified he was about going to sleep. In China, he didn't always like it, but he never seemed scared at all. We now realize it was because we were in the room with him. Oh boy. He also has become much whinier and discontent. Although we can emphasize with these issues, we are also very cognizant of not enhancing these fears but rather patiently teaching him the skill of falling asleep on his own with a confidence that we will be there when he wakes up...mouthful...even harder to do than to say! You can imagine the difficulty in navigating the muddy waters of toddler-world, adoptive child bonding, unknown and seemingly irrational fears, stress over lost independence and control over activities, and sorrow over lost friends and "family" left behind.
Zoe's muddy waters look a little like this: similar sorrow over friends left behind, adoptive family bonding, extreme weakness and irritability stemming from her extreme heart condition and the effect it's had on the rest of her body, princess mentality when it comes to interaction with Zane and her parents :), and lack of trust with new family members due to the constant influx of caregivers in China...she knows who we are but is basically expecting us to leave.
We needed some help. SO...we reached out to our angel again. What an answer to prayer.
We found out we were indeed on track with Zoe...she prefers to be called Queen Zoe...great...we've got another one...including yours truly...takes one to know one. The biggest help with Zoe, however, has been the docs explaining how significantly her health is influencing her behavior. Therefore, we spent most of our time talking about the little man.
It was comforting, on some level, to know that he wasn't just acting this way because of us...it's always been a struggle for him. He does have a lot of fears when it comes to bedtime...in spite of his adventurous spirit the other 12 hours of the day...just like any normal toddler. Poor little man...we thought he was just "pitching a fit." We were surprised to hear that a caregiver always slept in the room with the children...not that it was a bad thing...just a surprise...no wonder he always wanted us to stay. She said he would beg the worker not to leave him even though they never left. Basically everything we were doing to give him comfort were the very things he feared. Send in the nomination. GQ Parents want to learn from the best. Mark it down...you knew me when...
The next night we had a sweet time skyping with Bekah Jie Jie! The kids weren't sure what to do at first with seeing their old friend and hearing Chinese again! It was so cute...the silence lasted all of 3.2 seconds...then the jabbering began. Loved seeing them rattle on and on about everything that's been happening at their new home. Zane told her all about his doctor visit and how he was brave, but Zoe cried...not true...brother bullying has already begun. He told about our dog and how he likes him but is still a little scared of him. They compared pandas with Bekah. He likes his new house and room. He said he got an "owie" on the trampoline, and he loves his mommy, daddy, brothers, and sisters. That's about it...but it's a good start.
I'm SO grateful I reached out to Rebekah on behalf on our kiddos...so grateful for FB and Skype providing real-time overseas communication...so utterly thankful for a forgiving and compassionate Father who fills in the gaps over and over again with His forgetful and self-absorbed daughter.
And if I'm being completely transparent...and at this point, why not...I'm immensely thankful that door swings open every day at 3:42:24 with reinforcements. :)
