Post-Op Day 1
Unfortunately, this day started at 11 pm the night before...with a phone call. We had just settled down at the Mac House when we realized my phone had just missed a call from the hospital...that vibrate feature continually causes me as much grief as the person who never SHUTS their phone off in CHURCH! (ahem...sorry for yelling...got carried away) Actually the worst phone grief is the next level of ignorance...the one who ANSWERS their phone after leaving it on in CHURCH! (I've never failed to say, "Are you serious?!?" every time) Moving on...for real.
Before I could hit a button on my phone, Chris' phone rang.
Gulp.
"We just want you to know that Zoe's had quite a bit of excessive bleeding. We've called the surgeons back in to get it under control. It's going to be fine...this is normal...we just wanted you to know."
Talk about helpless. It was awful. We knew there was nothing we could do but to do exactly that seemed so wrong. We prayed together and laid back down. Somehow...in a way that only God could provide...sleep came quickly.
We knew we needed to be back at the hospital by 8:30 rounds to get the full impact of her status. It was such a blessing to walk in and see Chris' sister, Stephanie, standing by Zoe's bedside with Renee. It's been so difficult to be walking down this path so far away from our families. In the absence of blood, our church family at Harmony has truly acting on their behalf...loving us, caring for us, putting our needs ahead of their own, praying for us continually...and on and on I could go. They really are our family. Yet in spite of feeling the love so deeply here, it really brought me to tears when I saw Steph standing there. We didn't ask...she just came. It was overwhelming...especially to see her standing by Renee who's given so much of her time and energy to get Zoe the care she needed...they truly made a very difficult day almost enjoyable.
Unfortunately, the euphoria didn't last for long. More bad news. We found out that the surgeon had also been called back at 5. The PICU docs had begun to wonder if the packing inside the incision was compressing the heart and, therefore, causing more bleeding and rising blood pressure. So, the surgeon had unpacked the wound to see if this would remedy the situation. We also found out that her kidneys had suffered an "acute injury" during her heart surgery...so they were putting her on a dialysis machine as well. Their hope was that this would not turn into a long term kidney problem. More equipment...more wires, tubes, and bags...still more blood.
It was a pretty heavy morning as we continued to deal with a tremendous amount of issues...and a heck of a lot of waiting. The patience-mobile never seems to drive around my block...rude.
By early afternoon, multiple doctors and nurses were coming and going frequently with each one checking and showing concern for the site and its ridiculous amount of bleeding and the climbing pressures. Let's face it...when the medical professionals are concerned...and showing it...there's a problem. They had already contacted the surgeon before lunch to suggest he come back in, but he was in surgery on another precious girl and was unavailable to return.
As the clock continued to tick away, we were praying all the more and trusting the Healer with every ounce of our being. At the height of the concern, the surgeon's assistant decided they could wait no longer. Zoe's entire chest was covered with blood (to the point of bulging), as was all the gauzing underneath the ECMO tubes, and her bedding was equally saturated. Although the surgeon was definitely coming to deal with the bleeding on a more permanent level, Tina decided she needed to relieve some of the pressure immediately. She removed a fairly large clot from the surface of her chest. It was a pretty thick, jelly-like clot. She seemed happy to know her body was able to clot but was still concerned about the out-of-control bleeding. The pressures immediately came down once the clot was removed. As we waited for the doc to arrive, Tina explained the precarious realm we were living in...in order for the ECMO machine to function properly, they had to give Zoe meds to keep her blood thin as to not develop any clots...but this exact medicine was the cause of the excessive bleeding...sigh...
I have to admit, my heart ached even further when I caught a glimpse of Dr. Turik that day. He had spent the entire previous day with our sweet princess, had returned twice to get control of her bleeding, and had now spent another long day in the O.R. with a 12 yr. old girl...now here he was again...headed back into Zoe's room to try and get to the bottom of the problem. He had huge bags under his eyes yet went straight in to give just a little more of himself. We truly have been so blessed at the U. Dr. T found, and removed, several clots and was able to get a really good look at the site. He said it actually looked really good, with the bleeding coming more from raw, surgical areas and not suture lines. Apparently this is good news. Of course, all I hear is "blah, blah, blah...bleeding is much better." Got it. We wished him well and sent him on his way to his 2 children and wife, who's 8 months pregnant. More reminders of the sacrifices made by the people that God uses to care for the health of our loved ones.
Once things calmed down, we prayed for a calm and boring evening...as if our life has ever been boring...but one can dream.
After chasing Zane all over the U, Renee and Steph were still gluttin' for punishment...they kicked the hubs and I out of the hospital to go get some food and try to decompress...they would remain on Zane-duty. Angels, I tell you.
Longhorn was, in a word, amazing. I felt like I was in a coma, but I can't remember a more savory meal...another mega-grateful moment. We gathered our things from the Mac House and returned to move into the Rossi Guest House inside the hospital. From now on, we won't have to leave the hospital which will be super helpful. (In hindsight, I'm pretty sure this is why we've left campus to eat these last couple days...too much of a good thing and all...)
We got Zane settled into bed, and I walked back to the PICU to spend a little time decompressing in my favorite way these days...spending some time with my blog friends. I sat beside Zoe and began to tell you all about her story...well, the next chapter of her story.
God's had this one going long before we came into the picture. He brought us into the plot line WAY after He's already been working miracles for years...we're really more supporting actors...all of us. The Creator of all things...He's the star...the One we all keep coming back to see. Ticket sales are going to be huge for this trilogy...it's just too incredible to imagine.
Hey...did I mention?!? I've got front row seats!!!
Before I could hit a button on my phone, Chris' phone rang.
Gulp.
"We just want you to know that Zoe's had quite a bit of excessive bleeding. We've called the surgeons back in to get it under control. It's going to be fine...this is normal...we just wanted you to know."
Talk about helpless. It was awful. We knew there was nothing we could do but to do exactly that seemed so wrong. We prayed together and laid back down. Somehow...in a way that only God could provide...sleep came quickly.
We knew we needed to be back at the hospital by 8:30 rounds to get the full impact of her status. It was such a blessing to walk in and see Chris' sister, Stephanie, standing by Zoe's bedside with Renee. It's been so difficult to be walking down this path so far away from our families. In the absence of blood, our church family at Harmony has truly acting on their behalf...loving us, caring for us, putting our needs ahead of their own, praying for us continually...and on and on I could go. They really are our family. Yet in spite of feeling the love so deeply here, it really brought me to tears when I saw Steph standing there. We didn't ask...she just came. It was overwhelming...especially to see her standing by Renee who's given so much of her time and energy to get Zoe the care she needed...they truly made a very difficult day almost enjoyable.
Unfortunately, the euphoria didn't last for long. More bad news. We found out that the surgeon had also been called back at 5. The PICU docs had begun to wonder if the packing inside the incision was compressing the heart and, therefore, causing more bleeding and rising blood pressure. So, the surgeon had unpacked the wound to see if this would remedy the situation. We also found out that her kidneys had suffered an "acute injury" during her heart surgery...so they were putting her on a dialysis machine as well. Their hope was that this would not turn into a long term kidney problem. More equipment...more wires, tubes, and bags...still more blood.
It was a pretty heavy morning as we continued to deal with a tremendous amount of issues...and a heck of a lot of waiting. The patience-mobile never seems to drive around my block...rude.
By early afternoon, multiple doctors and nurses were coming and going frequently with each one checking and showing concern for the site and its ridiculous amount of bleeding and the climbing pressures. Let's face it...when the medical professionals are concerned...and showing it...there's a problem. They had already contacted the surgeon before lunch to suggest he come back in, but he was in surgery on another precious girl and was unavailable to return.
As the clock continued to tick away, we were praying all the more and trusting the Healer with every ounce of our being. At the height of the concern, the surgeon's assistant decided they could wait no longer. Zoe's entire chest was covered with blood (to the point of bulging), as was all the gauzing underneath the ECMO tubes, and her bedding was equally saturated. Although the surgeon was definitely coming to deal with the bleeding on a more permanent level, Tina decided she needed to relieve some of the pressure immediately. She removed a fairly large clot from the surface of her chest. It was a pretty thick, jelly-like clot. She seemed happy to know her body was able to clot but was still concerned about the out-of-control bleeding. The pressures immediately came down once the clot was removed. As we waited for the doc to arrive, Tina explained the precarious realm we were living in...in order for the ECMO machine to function properly, they had to give Zoe meds to keep her blood thin as to not develop any clots...but this exact medicine was the cause of the excessive bleeding...sigh...
I have to admit, my heart ached even further when I caught a glimpse of Dr. Turik that day. He had spent the entire previous day with our sweet princess, had returned twice to get control of her bleeding, and had now spent another long day in the O.R. with a 12 yr. old girl...now here he was again...headed back into Zoe's room to try and get to the bottom of the problem. He had huge bags under his eyes yet went straight in to give just a little more of himself. We truly have been so blessed at the U. Dr. T found, and removed, several clots and was able to get a really good look at the site. He said it actually looked really good, with the bleeding coming more from raw, surgical areas and not suture lines. Apparently this is good news. Of course, all I hear is "blah, blah, blah...bleeding is much better." Got it. We wished him well and sent him on his way to his 2 children and wife, who's 8 months pregnant. More reminders of the sacrifices made by the people that God uses to care for the health of our loved ones.
Once things calmed down, we prayed for a calm and boring evening...as if our life has ever been boring...but one can dream.
After chasing Zane all over the U, Renee and Steph were still gluttin' for punishment...they kicked the hubs and I out of the hospital to go get some food and try to decompress...they would remain on Zane-duty. Angels, I tell you.
Longhorn was, in a word, amazing. I felt like I was in a coma, but I can't remember a more savory meal...another mega-grateful moment. We gathered our things from the Mac House and returned to move into the Rossi Guest House inside the hospital. From now on, we won't have to leave the hospital which will be super helpful. (In hindsight, I'm pretty sure this is why we've left campus to eat these last couple days...too much of a good thing and all...)
We got Zane settled into bed, and I walked back to the PICU to spend a little time decompressing in my favorite way these days...spending some time with my blog friends. I sat beside Zoe and began to tell you all about her story...well, the next chapter of her story.
God's had this one going long before we came into the picture. He brought us into the plot line WAY after He's already been working miracles for years...we're really more supporting actors...all of us. The Creator of all things...He's the star...the One we all keep coming back to see. Ticket sales are going to be huge for this trilogy...it's just too incredible to imagine.
Hey...did I mention?!? I've got front row seats!!!
