Guatemala Travelogue 4

There are times in life that one must set aside the daily activities to appreciate the chaos and hilarious moments. This could also be translated: “Ask Scott about Dutch Blitz!” But hang on…I’m getting ahead of myself. Trust me…we’ll circle back.

There were some times this week when we broke out of the norm and enjoyed some unexpected…nay verily, shocking…moments. I’ll hit a couple here and save others for a separate post. Paul and Jean, along with David and his family, wanted us to see all different sides of life in Guatemala. So, on Tuesday evening, we headed out to eat at the mall food court. Jean gave us each a little baggie with our money and off we went! Let’s just say that most of us were slap-happy before we even arrived as Tim had us all dying every time he saw stores and restaurants from America…like Walmart, Burger King, McD’s, Wendy’s, etc. They have them all…and Tim fully appreciated that for us all…big time!!! There was whooping and hollering and picture-taking! It was tons of fun and tons of laughs!!

We were completely FLOORED at the size and scope of “the mall.” Think massive and elaborate…Iowa friends, you’ll have to imagine slightly more upscale and hopping than Westland Mall. Once we made it up to the food court, we did a walk-by to check out the options…none of which we recognized, like on our drive there. A few friends and I went for the El Salvadoran pupusas…super yummo.

Once everyone had eaten their main food, we had to scope out the ice cream situation…and cakes…and churros…and…you picking up what I’m throwing down?! Jean took about 5 of us to what we thought was soft-serve ice cream, but I think it was actually frozen yogurt. Regardless, it was pretty straight forward so I stepped up to order first. I told them I just wanted chocolate in a cup. Easy peasy…until I told him what size I wanted. Ok…look. There were two sizes…one was a glorified Dixie cup; the other was a…shall we say…large. Go big or go home, right? So I said I’d like the bigger size. Walk with me here…”Grande, por favor,” says I. He says, “GRANDE?!”…like I’m some kind of sicko. Big smile…”SI!” He then gives the order to another worker who responds disbelievingly and asks who wanted that…to which the first guy has to shine the spotlight on me, in front of God and everybody. Then…they started blatantly GIGGLING. For the love. In true solidarity, almost everyone from our group chose the larger size as well. We wouldn’t be shamed into that Dixie cup. There are lines you just don’t cross. Was it good…yes. Was it a LOT…also yes. Did I eat it to the glory of God…most certainly.

We reported said indignation to the rest of the team, and then we realized that everyone was throwing down some serious treats from all over the mall. For example, there’s one-who-shall-not-be-named that stands head and shoulders above most in our group…and who may or may not be our fearless leader…that enjoyed quite the plethora of main foods and then also a variety of desserts!!! No judgment here.

I’m sure if we’d have stopped dying laughing for even a second, we’d have seen many locals just shaking their heads at those crazy Americans. But we were too busy pounding down pints of frozen yogurt.


OH! Lest you think I forgot! Be sure to ask Scott about Dutch Blitz on Wednesday night. He’ll be so glad you care…about his 1st Loser trophy.

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Guatemala Travelogue 5

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Guatemala Travelogue 3