Lebanon Travelogue 2

Welcome back, friends. Have you recovered from the previous travelogue? If you haven’t read that yet, you definitely need to go back and read that prior to this one. Some things just won’t make sense without doing so. Also…what is your life…just out here reading random things, all willy-nilly, out of order?!? Do you also put your socks on after your shoes? Send your child to kindergarten before they are born? Eat your food before you’ve had your first sip of Dr Pepper? Exercise before the sun comes up? All equal forms of lunacy, I tell you. Get help. Oh and you should definitely go back and read ‘logue 1…ya feel me? :)

We spent 9/28-29 at the Thimar conference on the campus of ABTS. I should mention that we were asked by the staff not to reveal any names or post any pictures on social media…so if I’m sounding a bit vague and unclear, that’s because we were asked to do so. Having slept like utter zombies the previous night, we felt moderately refreshed to start our day Thursday! Incidentally, the absence of the heating pad was compensated by the portable tens unit…which I added to the suitcase at the last minute. Dear Lord in Heaven, I was truly so grateful for it! But yea…look at us pretending like all we needed was a good night’s sleep…what jet lag?!? HA. More on that to come.

The conference was filled with worship, both in Arabic and English, keynote speakers, mini sessions, panels, and the occasional break for coffee and such. (By day 2, I’d found a way to secure some Coke Zero…Eva’s international Dr Pepper…amen and amen.) Each session would usually have 2 keynote speakers…then move to a panel of 3-4 speakers who’d speak for 5 min. on the same topic…then allow for Q&A from the audience. Chris was actually part of a panel on Thursday morning on Church-Centric Ministry/Mission. He didn’t run anybody out of the room so we guess it went pretty well! (He actually did great…those were his words about not running anyone out of the room being the gauge…don’t send me emails about supporting my husband…although yea, I should probably tell him he did great again. :/) Regardless, if you’re reading all that and beginning to think…wow, that sounds like a packed conference, you would be 100% on track. Absolutely JAM-packed. Good thing we had that great night’s sleep! :) There’s a lot of schedule-checking and body-stretching going on every chance one gets. Inevitably, I found myself newly shocked at what was coming up…every time I scanned the QR code. Part of that is just Eva being Eva…part was likely the jet lag setting in…but I fought it like a champ…until I couldn’t. I did have to step out of a session on Friday afternoon because I literally kept almost falling out of my seat. Yikes. But that’s also how I found someone to sneak me a Coke Zero. God gives blessing in disguise. :)

Since I promised not to go into specifics about the conference, just know that we enjoyed spending time with old friends, as well as meeting a whole HOST of new ones. :) And seeing the global Church at work is, without fail, always inspiring and challenging to my Western heart. If you only know of an “American Jesus,” you’re definitely missing out…also you’re definitely wrong on that. That’s fair. No shade to my friends back home, but for real. Break the bubble. When I texted our family group chat and said I was “hanging out with a superstar (Chris), among some other superstars.” Zane replied,” What kind of superstars?” I replied plain and simply, “Men and women who’re giving their lives for Jesus in very, very difficult parts of the world.” He summed it up with one word, “Cool.” You got that right.

Of course, most of the conference was inspirational and challenging, but I would remiss to not share one of my favorite moments (ok, not really FAVORITE…but WAAAY up there, in my own warped sort of way. :) Every time we would break, the leaders would tell the large room of people when they needed to be back in their seats to start again. Never ever, in the the history of ever, was the group ready to go at the appointed time…a lot of sitting, all that networking, and single toilets made it difficult to regather in just 15 minutes. It would’ve been one thing if some were just tardy, but SOOO many came back to the room and then were finishing up their conversations in the back of the room…making it impossible for our gracious hosts to start back up again. One such time, this sweet gal (who did not have the built-in microphone of SOME people…ahem ahem…) tried continually to begin, calling them to be seated. Finally, at wit’s end, she said as loudly as she could (are you ready…and I quote…), “I invite you to take a seat, and I’m going to read the Word of God…so if you keep speaking, you’ll be speaking over the Word of God.” Mic dropped…along with the volume. :)

Talk about jobs that garner thankless responses…who wants to be the guy that’s timing all those speakers and holding up cue cards with appropriate remaining times? But this guy was awesome…made the most of it, including showing his TIME’S UP card with a bomb exploding pictured. There were several times he had to walk right up the center aisle, to the very front, with the sign raised high, because the speaker was completely ignoring his more subtle reminders! We all got a pretty big chuckle out of it, and the speakers thought it equally humorous so no conflicts at all. But yea, love that job. :) He was another doppleganger for our friend, Nick from Iowa (the 1st is one of the Dude Perfect guys!) so every time he started walking to the front, I just giggled and said, “Oh that Nick…he’s so funny…”

Thursday night, they said we were having a nice dinner at a “country club,” but that we would be stopping at a “patisserie boutique” for “the sweets,” on the way to the dinner location. Imagine our surprise when we turned into what we thought was Si Bon, only to be staring at Marie France. DON’T LOOK IT UP, MY BROTHERS. But girls…c’mon. I was like WHAT IN THE PEANUT BUTTER CRACKERS IS GOING ON HERE?!? Apparently, the 2 businesses were side-by-side, but we just couldn’t see the “sweets” side…ahem…because of a large bus, blocking it. I’ll let you decide which store that tour bus was visiting. :) Also, I’m guessing Chris and I were the only actual children on board because exactly zero people saw the irony, much less the humor, in the situation. Did I buy sweets…no. Did I take a picture of the connecting stores…also yes. :)

The country club was absolutely incredible!!! An outdoor wedding venue was reserved just for us, and the views were amazing, as was the food and company. Dangling lights from trees, overly kind wait staff, and mouth-watering food…wish you were here and all. Constant networking and building relationships with people all over the world is both exhausting and exciting! So many of the conditions in which these new friends live and serve is truly humbling and challenging to my comfortable heart.

Friday evening’s dinner was at a very nice fish restaurant that was oh so far away from the conference. It was wonderful and beautiful, but dude…if you come to visit us in Iowa, I’m gonna be like…look, we’ve got Gator’s and Queso’s…what sounds good?!? :/ This would’ve been like taking 250+ of our closest friends up to Iowa City to have a long sit-down meal at Red Lobster…outside. That’s the best I could offer, and it most assuredly wouldn’t come close! :) The food again was awesome, but how do they exist like this, eating dinner at 8pm??? It was a complete mystery to us. I’ll tell you what I didn’t eat though…the full fish head…or anything that was attached to said head…just couldn’t do it. Tell me why…no, for real…why is this appealing to anyone, no matter how big of a pescatarian they are?!? Why does the HEAD still need to be staring up at me?!? And please WHY do we then slurp the meat from the bones while holding onto the tail like it’s a stinkin’ corn on the cob?!? Sorry, my friends. I truly loved so much of your incredible food, but this was the line for me. Moving on…we had a super entertaining waiter who continually brought food and drinks, no matter how many times I said no/that’s all/all done/for the love of all the Middle East, please do not bring me anything else. But it was hilarious…he kept legit giggle, having a grand time, and everyone was cracking up…so he kept doing it…then I felt bad so I kept finishing it off…and the cycle continued. Fully confident I waddled out of there.

BTW, can we just normalize eating shawarma?!? Because heck yea. That was from the first night at the outdoor grazing, and I’ve got no idea how I left that out because…oh man, it was so yummy.

Finally, this will be a hard left turn after all this inspirational and mouth-watering talk, but I can’t finish up the update on the conference without including a big ol’ “It only happens to Eva” moment. You know ‘em…you love ‘em...so here we go…again. :/ On Thursday morning of the conference, right before the lunch break, I decided I would beat the crowds to the toilet (sorry, mom…that’s what it’s called over here!!! Asking for a restroom would just confuse everyone!!! And honestly…rightly so!!! I mean…who came up with RESTroom. Do you typically REST in there? There has been some WORK done in there, but certainly not REST…that’s just all sorts of icky. Anywhooooo, back to the toilet…because surely I did not get STUCK in the toilet and have to get busted out!!! Why yes…let me explain how my life ceased in that moment. We were beating the crowds to the single toilet, remember?!? When I attempted to exit said toilet, the dead bolt refused to unlock. I tried 5 or 20 times…no luck. Oh hey…my cell phone is in my jacket pocket…awesome!! Oh wait…submissive wife is on airplane mode, right?!? Oh OH wait…I’m on the seminary’s wifi!!! Oh oh OH wait…there seems to be no service in the single toilet room. So my text to Chris, “I am quite literally stuck in the bathroom. The deadbolt will not unlatch. Could you go to the lobby and ask the women to get someone to help.”…did not go through. So just me and my FREAKING OUT thoughts hanging out in the toilet, FOR HOURS ok MAYBE 10-15 MINUTES but YOU GUYS…until some poor lady tries to get in.…sees it’s locked…hears some crazy and frantic American shouting at her not to leave and to please get some help! Then the language barrier comes into play…just for fun. She was speaking English but the accents don’t necessarily translate well through a thick door…when BOTH parties are completely disoriented by the conversation in the first place! I don’t want to disrupt the conference, but I also don’t want to remain in my current surroundings!!! Finally she gets the maintenance guy who comes with the stereotypical key ring…all the jiggling in the land did not open that door. Now he’s yelling to me, “I’ll be back! No problem!” Are you sure man…because it is suuuuure beginning to seem like a problem?!? Regardless, he just giggled through the door when I yelled back, “I’ll be right here!” You could literally hear the new ring of keys coming far sooner than the attempts to unlock happened. And he tried all. the. keys. Then much to all of our joy, I was FREED!!! I can assure you there was much thought and prayer used the next time the toilet was needed. BUT lest we have an international incident, I had to just let go and let God, am I right?!? Went in on a wing and a prayer that next time. Pretty sure it’s first time in my life that I legit prayed as I dared to walk into a RESTroom…that I would come out on the other side of this thing with my sanity in tact. Hello darkness, my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again.