Another Big Day on the Carr Ride
October 23, 2024.
Mark it down. Circle it twice. Remember that date.
It’s the day our family grew yet again through the beauty of adoption…out of the ugliness of a broken world. We are now a family of 12…13, if we include our precious Zoe who’s spending her 15th year in the arms of Jesus. 13! Some days…most days…it feels hard to believe.
When I started this post a week ago…yes, I know…Eva happened…but when I started this post, I decided to scroll back into the deep abyss of old blog posts from when Chris and I started on our own adoption journey for Zane and Zoe. On an unrelated note :/…y’all have stuck around through thick and thin…I’ll say it. But to the point…I realized that I started off running back then…right out the gate! There was no fanfare…very little back story…just dropped the adoption bomb and prayed y’all would come along for the ride. You da best.
It was messy and scary and confusing and gut-wrenching…and beautiful and sweet and hilarious and soul-filling…and all the feels in between. Yet even with all that, we still never fully experienced this side of adoption…through the foster care system. One could argue it’s even messier…scarier…sweeter…you get the point. Because while we have loads of questions about how Zane and Zoe ended up at Swallow’s Nest and what their families of origin were like, we didn’t fully experience the complete brokenness on the other side of the coin…when you know their story.
It’s not hard to grasp that adoption even exists because there is brokenness on some level. In an ideal world, children would remain with their bio mom and dad, and they’d experience the love and care and joy and nurturing they need. In a perfect world, no children would ever, in fact, be left behind. To be honest, this is rarely even true when the nuclear family stays intact!
The reality is, we don’t live in a perfect and ideal world. Ours is broken…filled with heartache, despair, and often trauma. Foster care specifically is not a “tip-toe-through-the-tulips” kind of vibe. Hear me carefully…it’s worth every sleepless night and every overwhelmed cry…but it’s not for the faint of heart. We would do well to acknowledge the pitfalls and fully embrace those that would welcome the least of these.
Additionally, however, we should weep for those who’ve “lost their children to the system.” No matter where the fault or responsibility lies, we need to remember that this is not as it should be. Two opposing things can be true at the same time…I can shed both tears of joy and tears of sorrow. We wouldn’t trade these littles for a million bucks…AND I’m heartbroken for their mama that had to say goodbye. Truthfully, it would’ve crushed us all if this adoption hadn’t been realized, yet I hope to never lose the empathy I have for those that will not be around to watch these kiddos grow up.
We celebrated their adoption with cake and presents, family and friends everywhere! It was a precious time that will be treasured forever. Among those gathered was their “Grandpoo,” who has remained in their lives consistently throughout this year-long process…and who will continue to be included in every birthday and special occasion. What a gift that is to not only the kids, but to each one of us! We are so thankful for him! Incidentally, Chris even invited him over not too long ago to watch the Bears game. Not sure how that qualifies as a “special occasion” though…poor guy…Eva better take over the inviting from now on. But seriously, we pray our family may be a reflection of the gospel in such a way that others will be drawn to Christ in a deeper way.
What a profound beauty…this thing that is adoption! But it’s even more beautiful and touching…it might mean even more to us…when you remember the brokenness. And oh what an amazing reminder of our own adoption into the family of God…there couldn’t be a clearer picture of brokenness to beauty.