Gloom, Despair, and Agony On Me

Tell me you’re old without telling me you’re old…if you let out a big ol’ wail after reading the title above…we can throw in a walker or cane if you started singing right away! :/

Strange, isn’t it, the “blast-from-the-past” things that come to mind when you’re smacked right between the eyes with the 2x4’s of life!! Case in point, as I sit here thinking of how to update you all on the past 7 days, my mind is stuck on that cult classic:

Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Deep dark depression, excessive misery

If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all

Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Believe it or not, that little gem had some verses to go along with that uplifting little chorus…all brought to you by that beacon of entertainment…HEE HAW. Y’all…I wish I were kidding. Just like I wish I were kidding about that song being the theme song for my past week. Yet here we are. Might as well just jump into the deep end and hope there’s enough life jackets for the group! :/

Excitement was in the air and spirits were high as we headed into surgery last Wednesday! The only damper on the mood seemed to be bonus migraines brought to you by hunger, nausea, and heat stroke vibes. IYKYK :/ The straight-forward 2 hour outpatient surgery turned into a 4 hour inpatient debacle.

The surgery itself took longer “because the cartilage in the joint was a wreck…” so he had to address that in addition to fixing the fractures. No clue whether this was caused by the recent fall or from the last time this ankle was broken! Don’t ask. :/ The external fixators were replaced with internal ones, consisting of 2 large plates and 12-ish screws. As promised, there was no hard cast…just a splint, whole bunch of gauze, covered by several ace bandages. The bigger problem came when I actually had the nerve to refuse to come out of anesthesia while keeping my oxygen at acceptable levels. This place is like a prison.

I’m thinking this must be my thing now…with it happening the last several times I had surgery. And because I don’t do anything half-hearted, this one was the biggest doozy of all…at least it was right up there with the Mayo incident that shall not be named. The pain meds needed causes the breathing to have a mind of its own…so it’s quite the party…with everybody and their brother yelling, “EVA! TAKE A BREATH!”…ad nauseam. And then she gets admitted and has to wear a nasal cannula all night long and get vitals taken every hour or so. Like I said…quite the party. Really thought this was gonna be the actual time I went home…but what can ya do…gotta keep the streak alive.

We did convince them to send us home with the better meds this time, but insert more gloom…more despair…and a whole heaping portion of more agony. Thursday night was ok, but by Friday morning, I was convinced there was something big-time wrong…and pretty soon, we were right back at the hospital. I had a similar feeling to the time I had nerve releases done on my elbow, and I had a reaction to the adhesive used. Searing pain that felt like intense sunburn and swelling. When they took those bandages off, there were giant blisters. It was all kinds of yikes. And that’s what it felt like when we went back on Friday…so it was pretty surprising when everything looked pretty good underneath it all! THEN we found out that the surgeon had been forced to relocate several nerves…and an entire nerve bundle…in order to get those plates and screws in the right locations. Massive amounts of nerve pain were the culprit this time. I’ve dealt with quite a bit of nerve damage and nerve pain in my day…this definitively topped the charts. (2nd bout of tears was evidence of it being awful.) Then there are muscle spasms on top of it all that keep slamming the foot into the end of the bed!

More pain meds…with overnight pulse oximeters…ice packs on rotation (including dealign with the old hip surgery that happens to be on the same side and is not appreciating the positioning of the leg) and copious amount of prayers to boot.

SO there you have it…like I said, the Hee Haw song fit these past 6 days or so perfectly…but I’m encouraged by the cards and calls, the sweet gifts and kind words, and days like today: one week post op, and I was able to get back in the saddle, so to speak, and lead my Bible study this morning. (So thankful for the 2 friends that stood in for me last week at both studies) But as I told one of the gals today, it really was like a sweet balm to my soul to be back. From there, we went to another follow up visit with the surgeon. It’s all looking great, he said…although I look like the bride of Frankenstein, in my opinion. If all goes well, staples will come out a week from today, and I’ll get a removable splint that I can take on and off to shower and start doing non-weight-bearing exercises. That will be a GREAT DAY! Weight-bearing is still a month away in a boot, but driving is still roughly 10 weeks away. The booted left leg could do some weight-bearing even now, but with zero risk of right leg touching down makes that still a bit tricky. So those are just baby steps. BUT STILL, I’m thankful for each baby step I’m able to take…very thankful to do so. Even more thankful for your prayers.